Posts Tagged ‘ Self Doubt ’

Notes & Asides – Where the Hell Have I Been … AGAIN?!?!?!?!

Let me begin by saying that I am not even going to try and explain where the hell I have been since the last time I posted regularly.  I’ve covered that once before in an earlier post and the reasons now are pretty much the same as then.  Furthermore, I have pretty much given up on trying to explain why I do or do not do certain things.  Besides, anyone who followed my year-end Twitter/Facebook feed (which is probably not many of you) knows that for a whole host of reasons (which I might or might not elaborate on) I SUCK. Yet despite that here I am again and I intend to keep coming back, however infrequently, for however long it takes until I get it right.

I think the thing that is bringing me back again this time is the untimely death of the great Andrew Breitbart. He and I were the same age and there was something about seeing that 1969-2012 on the screen under his name that kind of freaked me out just a bit.  It made me just a tad aware of my own mortality and what a dismally small contribution I have made when compared with someone like him. Now I don’t expect to be the next Breitbart but I have to have something more to give to the world than a decent latte!  That brings me back to the written word and this blog.  It always generally comes back to writing.  I enjoy writing, I feel better about myself when I do write regularly and I think I have knack for it (but I guess that is for you all to decide).

Anyway,  here I sit once again behind a keyboard making another go of it.  How will long will this next “chapter” last?  Who knows.  I do know this, however.  There WILL be a next chapter because I do intend on coming back as many times as it takes until I get it right.

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Where the Hell I’ve Been….

So you are bound to ask “where the hell have you been”?  Fair question.  This entry is all about explaining where I’ve been. 

First,  I have been writing.  I’ve completed two substantial writing projects since my last entry;  so I have been writing just not sharing it on FB or on my blog. 

Second, I occasionally fall victim to self-doubt.  What I mean by that is that I have this little voice inside my head that occasionally screams “who do you think you are anyway?!  What makes you think you can be a writer?  There are million people scribbling on blogs, many way more talented.  What makes you think anyone gives a whit what you think?”  Well I ran this by my friend, and fellow writer, Jacqueline and she basically said I need to tell that voice to “SHUT THE HELL UP!”.  So that is what I am doing.  I have also come to realize over the past couple of months that writing is maybe what I was put on this earth to do.  My other projects have been extremely well received so I guess the answer to “why me?” is “why the hell NOT me!”. 

Thirdly,  writing consistently, even a mere 250 words a day, is work and requires effort.  Unfortunately, I can be at times a bit lazy when it comes to stuff like this.  It is always easier not to write than to write; especially when nothing is at stake.  But I need to keep at it!  To that end I have set myself a goal (more on that another time) of writing 60,000 words over the next year.  For those of you keeping score that equates to 240 entries of the “250 Words per Day” blog between now and next summer.   

Writers write.  If that is my path then I better well get going with it.  The future starts….NOW!